Hello. Yes, I am Peanut Butter Johnson. Today started out as any other day since I have been living on the road with my Humans…they like to be called “Mom” and “Dad” so for their sake, that is how I will refer to them throughout this post.
As I said, the day started out fairly normal…quiet wonderfully as a matter of fact, since Mom and Dad made my all time favorite breakfast of Corned Beef Hash and Eggs. It was marvelous. I get so very excited around food that I literally shake; they, the Humans, um, I mean, Mom and Dad, always think that I’m cold and try to cover me up, but it is simply the excitement in the anticipation of eating that wonderful food.
So, after breakfast, I hear them talking about their plans for the day, nothing unusual, and I make myself comfortable on the couch ready for sleep. But, I hear Mom say something about “Bringing Peanut along…” and the next thing I know, Dad looks at me and says, “Do you want to go to the Grand Canyon today, Peanut? If you want too, say ‘Please,’” well, anytime someone utters the phrase “Say Please” I know a treat isn’t far behind, so I SAY PLEASE. Big mistake, should have kept my yap shut. Not only did I NOT get a treat, but I got pulled from my comfort zone, tossed into the car and off we go!
I have to be honest and say that I do love being around Mom and Dad, as goofy as they are, but it is nice. We went in that tiny, red, tin-thing they call a car, actually they call it “Sarai” and I really loved having the sun on me. Nice and warm. A little too warm after a while…I got HOT. Apparently, what I did next thrilled Mom to pieces…I drank water from a bowl in the car. She flipped. I have had the ability to do this for the last 9.5 years, but I have chosen NOT to simply because it isn’t dignified, but when you are hot and thirsty, you will forego the formalities and drink! After a bit, Mom put me down on the floor, out of the sun, with cool air blowing on me…I hated it.
We finally made it to their destination and out comes that horrid contraption they call a harness for me to wear…oh, the indignities I have to put up with. Off we go, out of the car and across a parking lot with lots of new smells and bushes for me to explore. Now this is what I call a vacation! So many different “friends” from all over the country have been here and I could have spent hours sniffing around, but no, THEY had other plans. We walk around a bit and then back into the car. OK…so that was fun, lets go home.
NOT. Another stop, this time when we get out, Mom is carrying me and puts me on this ledge overlooking absolutely nothing at all! Is she crazy? I will fall and break every bone in my body! Out with the camera she comes. Now, most of you know that when a camera is around, I’m all over it! I love to pose, love to have my picture taken and love to be the center of attention, but when dangerously close to falling millions of feet to my death, I’d rather not…well, OK…maybe one picture, possibly two. I’m sure she will post them all over the wide-world, so then you can see that she was truly trying to kill me! (Mom note...check out Library 4 under the "Photo Journal" tab).
We drove around a bit more, in and out of the car over and over…geez, you have seen one giant crater, you have seen them all, right? Next, I hear Mom and Dad talking about food…they were speaking my language finally. Down the road a bit they find a nice little pizza joint that has preferred seating for me…meaning, outdoor seating, and the pizza wasn’t half bad. That is until Mom tried to get me to eat pineapple. Who puts pineapple on a perfectly good pizza anyway? “Give me more of that ham,” I wanted to shout at her! Of course, I didn’t get to sit next to Dad…he knows how to eat! I distinctly smelled “Meat Lovers Pizza” and chicken wings! I was drooling all over the place. Instead, I got stuck with ham and that nasty pineapple, which I tasted but couldn’t even eat.
Done…in the car…again. Finally, more than five minutes without a stop…think I will catch a bit of shut-eye until we get home. Well, that didn’t last long. Car stopped again and out we go and I mean to tell you the rain was pouring down. Mom said, "It's raining cats and dogs," to which Dad smirks and replies, "Be careful not to step in a poodle!" Ha ha...very funny, I thought to myself. I couldn’t imagine why they would want to stop in the middle of nowhere, with a storm howling to boot. Dad grabs me and off we go into this strange, large building with things they called “airplanes.” Big woop. Actually, it was kinda neat. Since I was with Dad, he would walk slowly around the planes, looking closely at them…I could tell he really, really liked this, and whatever the Big Man likes, I like. Mom was doing her usual…snapping pictures at every single thing. Give it rest, Mom.
The man and woman that ran the airplane place were really nice, however, they kept calling me “baby”…don’t they know I’m nearly 70 years old! Put me down and I will show you “baby!” They chatted with Mom and Dad until the rain eased up. Apparently, Mom and Dad will be heading back there tomorrow, when it isn’t raining, to look inside some of the planes they didn’t get to see because of the rain. One of the planes, apparently, is a big deal…used to transport some guy named General MacArthur, or something like that. Well, that is all fine and good, but leave me at home this time!
Finally made it home and they left again…peace and quiet time for me. Off to sleep I went and had sweet dreams of flying over the Grand Canyon in one of those old planes Dad showed me. Life is good for a dog after all.